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Question & Answer

 

This is the quick-fire Q&A section of your magazine. Don’t hold back, don’t pull any punches, we want to answer the crucial tea questions relating to your lives!

Our experienced tea connoisseurs are on hand to trawl the Web to get straight answers to the toughest questions.

 

 

Q: At what age is my baby legally old enough to drink tea?

Mr M, Barnsley

A: Common law is surprisingly vague with regard to the age of tea-consent. However, there was a case in criminal law, Smith et al. vs. Happy Bliss Love Day Care Centre (1998,b,25) after a staff member’s “April fool’s trick” backfired when gangs of tea-fed babies ran amok, forcing baffled parents to stand by and watch as their babies swung from the ceiling lights, biting and hitting all in their path. The judge in the case, Justice Karma, imposed a suggested limit of baby tea drinking below the age of 4 and a half, before taking a long thoughtful sip from her cup of tea (given to her previously by the court appointed usher) and declaring that “Justice….has been done” and diving through the front benches, taking down several members of a rather young and perplexed looking jury.

Because the law is so opaque as regards the legal requirements, in may be best to assert a degree of common sense in your decision. Our advice, M, is to perhaps start your baby out on decaffeinated tea, which although lacking to a certain degree in taste, is a good place to start before graduating the child onto the richer delights of the full caffeine incarnation.

Q: I’m making a cup, who wants one?

Kelly, Walton on Thames

A: Thanks Kelly, that’ll be four cups of tea, all strong but with plenty of milk. Please ensure that the bag is left to brew for at least 4 minutes, although you can leave it in the cup for up to ten; that would be fine with us. Biscuits?

Q: Is it physically possible for a crocodile to drink a cup of tea? I get so frustrated

Mrs Sydney, Australia

A: Always nice to get a letter from one of our international readers. I’m guessing you have attempted to feed tea to a crocodile then? Due to the unique composition of the crocodile’s beak/mouth combo, it is nigh on impossible to get a croc to drink via the conventional method. May I suggest using some sort of hose? This would allow you to target the mouth and jet the flow of tea directly in, resulting in no spillage at all if you do it right.