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President Captured by Ninjas

Unconfirmed reports are beginning to emerge which allege that, according to a growing number of news agencies, US president George W. Bush has been captured by ninjas.


    Picture: Courtesy Agencie del Soub (Spain)

Further details are thin on the ground at this stage. A memo circulated across Washington, however, has been leaked, which would appear to confirm the actions.

Officials at the White House have thus far kept quiet about the revelations, refusing to comment or communicate with news agencies in the US and abroad. The routine briefing from press secretary Tony Snow has also been abruptly cancelled with no reason given as to why. Speaking from his home in Korea, newly appointed UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon appealed passionately, saying, “…have you got any idea what time it is here?

No one has at this stage claimed responsibility for the kidnap, though the use of ninjas in the attempt would seem to indicate that it could be the work of Japanese splinter group Edo. This terrorist organisation is widely known to use ninja as a way of forwarding its causes, and whose ultimate aim it is alleged is to see a return to policies of the Kamakura era in Japan (c. 1185 – 1333AD).

It would appear that the US government has enlisted the talents of an individual mercenary to attempt a rescue of the president. Questions remain, however, over whether the mystery renegade is a “bad enough dude” to get the job done.