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Mit local resident Anderson Freeway.

"Greetings folks, and welcome to my new web column. You wonít know me, for we have only just met Ė and even then itís hardly a two way communication process. Iím imagining that you are all sitting in some sort of vast school assembly hall, while I dictate my column viciously from the pulpit. Iíve been asked to write a couple of words, on a permeable regular basis, on our town, as Iím told that it is quite, quite unique. The name of our town is Ketsbaia. It is in the middle of the Atlantic sea, and so far we have been able to circumnavigate discovery from the rest of the outside world by putting blue tree branches above all the structures so it looks like the sea Ė you know, just like the popular Alex Garland film and itís bookish adaptation The Beach!

At any rate, the folk here are not really like most people in the rest of the world. In our utopian lives, all our aeroplanes are made out of twigs, and we have to eat plastic fruit instead of real fruit because the only vegetation are those trees you see on telly - what do you call them? Ė rubber plants. Also, there is a huge mountain on one side of the town where folk like to travel on their holidays; itís all right over that way you see. Young Bryan, who now works in ďthe City,Ē used to love it up there, until he realised that he couldnít check his stock prices with his colleagues in Monaco as it was out of range of a hotspot for his swanky wi-fi enabled laptop, which he fashioned for himself out of clay and sand.

So there you have it. I hope you enjoy, but please donít blow our cover on WMD because we have shit loads of them. Just in case, for self defence, from seagulls and that."



Section Index

    Entry 12: Doctor Hatchet Man MD

    Entry 11: Something sinister afoot

    Entry 10: Local off-licence ransacked by tramps, tourists

    Entry 9: Seasons greetings: Easter comes to Ketsbaia

    Entry 8: Some welcome visitors drop in for a stay

    Entry 7: World's biggest cake attempt

    Entry 6: Merry Christmas from the island of Ketsbaia

    Entry 5: The return of Beat Notz

    Entry 4: Halloween fancy dress

    Entry 3: The zoo in the middle of the jungle

    Entry 2: Colonel Sprout's Finance

    Entry 1: Pet shop commotion