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"The Magic Key" BBC2 (on late)
Ever, like us, wondered why it is that they put kids TV programmes on BBC 2
ridiculously late at night? Itís not like kids are going to be able to watch
it then, about 7 hours past their collective bed times.
Why are they on so far beyond the watershed?
Chip: Biff? Hey Biff, get your arse down the stairs now! Mumís
made porridge for us both.
Biff: [Emerging from bedroom] Donít shout at me!
Chip: You want this porridge to go cold?
Biff: Donít speak to me. You got no business talking to me
Narrator: And so, a new morning broke out in Magic Key land.
Look, thereís the birds singing in the trees, and over there Marsha the
post-mistress is delivering her sack of mail.
Chip: Fuck you Biff, you cheap tart. Iíll talk to you how I
Biff: Every morning the same. Youíre just not a morning person
are you Chip?
Chip: Just fucking get off my case.
Narrator: Biff and Chip were in for a surprise today. Gran was
coming around for afternoon tea, and later she was to take them both out for
a trip to the zoo.
Mum: I have a surprise for you today. Gran is coming around
for afternoon tea, and later she is taking you out for a trip to the zoo.
Chip: Great, thatís just what we want. That old bitch coming
round here being all patronising because weíre kids.
Mum: Chip! Watch your mouth!
Chip: Iíll watch my mouth when you stop whoring yourself out
to pensioners to fund that heroin habit.
Mum: Oooooooh yeah. That is better. Iím sorry what did you say
Chip: What time is Gran coming?
[Mum slips into a world of her own]
Biff: I donít think she can hear you Chip.