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Ill-informed pub conversations
 

As we all know, the pub is the traditional place for musing on the hot topics of the week, the celestial meeting point where all the burning issues can be discussed, be it politics, sports, culture, current affairs or just celebrity brain factor extreme island (or whatever it is).

In many ways it is that great mainstay of the masses. From the early days when Shakespeare used to chug down the ales while lambasting all in his wake with his intellectual stammering, to today’s ceremonial drunken football arguments usually set directly below a 42” plasma screen television projecting vast images of the legendary likes of Keys, Linekar, and to a far lesser extent Hoddle or Redknapp.

But it’s not just from the all seeing screen that we hear, from nearby tables or bar stalls, absolute total uninformed, ignorant gibberish. Everyone, it seems, is the best England manager, the best foreign minister or in some of the most unpleasant cases, even the best Benito Mussolini.

Sometimes though they are just funny to listen to though, jah?

Punter 1: So this is supposed to be some sort of modern musician is it? He won’t amount to anything

Punter 2: I don’t like this either. He just rips off Mozart.

Punter 1: Exactly

Punter 2: And he probably isn’t even deaf!

Punter 1: Mozart were much better, they basically invented classical music. Bands like Tchaikovsky just rehash the old formula

Punter 2: I liked the Four Seasons, but their second album was shit. I bought it after I heard the single but the rest of the album just sounds the same.

Punter 1: I don’t think I’ve heard the album but I liked the singles. Their new one is bollocks though, yeah.

Punter 1: It’s just him isn’t it?

Punter 2: Well it’s him but he doesn’t write his own music. He’s like Sting or someone.

Punter 1: I see. Same again mate?

Punter 2: Yeah, I’ll have another blended sea-lion and a bag of cactus rinds mate.