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Entry 4: Halloween fancy dress
was a large Halloween party in the town square last weekend, in which
everyone got dressed up as ghosts and
There seemed to be confusion over the definition of fancy dress. Herbert, a
chap who used to work in the local chip shop and who, rumour has it, was
sacked for fouling in the chip fat,
turned up without a costume on, and Western, the bouncer, would not let him
"Its a fancy dress party, why didn’t you dress up?" He goes. Then Herbert
looks all annoyed and says "What? What do you mean?" "You haven’t dressed
up!" Western goes. "What do you call this then!?" Herbert says pointing at
his hat. He’s got on a sunhat, see.
"That's...well that's just a normal hat,” Western says, starting to get a
bit annoyed by now. "It’s better than your glove" Herbert says, somewhat ill
advisedly. “No it’s not, look, I’m only wearing one,” Western says, pointing
at the glove on his right hand.
gets a bit annoyed as he knows by now he’s not getting in. So he’s
pushed Western, who’s pushed him back. Next
thing we know, there’s a fight breaking out and Western is badly
outnumbered. Ghosts, vampires, witches,
you name it, all clambering to get in a blow to Western’s flailing body; its
all arms and legs thrashing round all over the shop.
It’s a Halloween free for all!
Earlier in the day I was visited by a wacky looking devil and a girl with a
bin liner cello taped to her face,
urging me to choose between either “trick” or “trick”. I reach down into my
plastic bag of goodies, next thing I know there’s tomato sauce all over the
door, in my hair, and, well, everywhere. The devil and the bin liner girl
scatter pronto leaving with a red trail in their wake as they pelt it up the
road. I tried calling the police but it seems the second trick they referred
to turned out to be them cutting off my phone line.
Happy Halloween everybody!