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Entry 4: Halloween fancy dress

There was a large Halloween party in the town square last weekend, in which everyone got dressed up as ghosts and that.

There seemed to be confusion over the definition of fancy dress. Herbert, a chap who used to work in the local chip shop and who, rumour has it, was sacked for fouling in the chip fat, turned up without a costume on, and Western, the bouncer, would not let him in.

"Its a fancy dress party, why didn’t you dress up?" He goes. Then Herbert looks all annoyed and says "What? What do you mean?" "You haven’t dressed up!" Western goes. "What do you call this then!?" Herbert says pointing at his hat. He’s got on a sunhat, see. "That's...well that's just a normal hat,” Western says, starting to get a bit annoyed by now. "It’s better than your glove" Herbert says, somewhat ill advisedly. “No it’s not, look, I’m only wearing one,” Western says, pointing at the glove on his right hand.

Herbert gets a bit annoyed as he knows by now he’s not getting in. So he’s pushed Western, who’s pushed him back. Next thing we know, there’s a fight breaking out and Western is badly outnumbered. Ghosts, vampires, witches, you name it, all clambering to get in a blow to Western’s flailing body; its all arms and legs thrashing round all over the shop. It’s a Halloween free for all!

Earlier in the day I was visited by a wacky looking devil and a girl with a bin liner cello taped to her face, urging me to choose between either “trick” or “trick”. I reach down into my plastic bag of goodies, next thing I know there’s tomato sauce all over the door, in my hair, and, well, everywhere. The devil and the bin liner girl scatter pronto leaving with a red trail in their wake as they pelt it up the road. I tried calling the police but it seems the second trick they referred to turned out to be them cutting off my phone line.

Happy Halloween everybody!