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Entry 3: The zoo in the middle of the
is a thick jungle in the middle of the island, not very big, but thick for
sure. I took a walk through this vast undergrowth recently in search of a
zoo that had allegedly been fashioned somewhere within. The zoo purportedly
only has animals that are crazed lunatics,
the kind that would eat people if they could gain appropriate access to
them. I think the idea of it being carved into the centre of a thick
forested area is to make it difficult for the angry animals to get through
and reign down terror on the local
populace if they escaped.
The zoo specialises in angry creatures. In order to achieve this premise,
the zoo staff does certain things, like putting two separate species in
cages and only putting enough food in for one helping, and the food is jam.
When I went there, a group of keepers were goading
a shark and a chimp, the chimp having been placed into a large
goldfish bowl which housed the shark. The chimp was swimming about,
thrashing arms and legs about wildly, but on the whole getting by. The shark
was swimmingly idly by, but you could really tell it wasn’t happy sharing
its home with a primate. In another enclosure, a remote control bear was
being driven repeatedly into a group of bats. They were lurking menacingly
all over the bear’s furry frame, but with the voluminous bites meeting only
with hard metal, these bats were only getting more
I found the “zoo” is run by a man called Captain Madd. He used to work on a
P&O cruise ship, though not as a captain like you might imagine but behind
the counter at the refreshments desk.
Still, he likes everyone to refer to him as “The Captain,” or “Cap” to his
closest mates. I found out that he’s a little on the touchy side with this
as when I called him Cap he scrunched up his face real tight and tried to
strangle me with a recently baited rattle snake. Luckily a nearby parking
attendant was on hand to strike the Captain hard about the back of the head
with a baton.
“Thanks mate”, I said to him. “That’s ‘thanks first
mate’ to you” He replied threateningly.