Ketsbaia

 

 

 

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Entry 2: Colonel Sprout's Finance

Earlier on I took a hike up towards that great metropolis on the horizon that seems to have sprung up on us almost overnight. It seems that Ketsbaia is now some kind of tax haven, which kind of makes sense as the islandís benevolent ruler Colonel Sprout, who the people love and no one would dream of arguing with under any circumstances, is a founding member of Sprout Finance. Even though he rules with an iron fist, I think that Colonel Sprout is a corporate logo and not a real person; heís never been seen in public, but itís probably best that no one else thinks this, as there might just be uproar if they did.

I made a packet selling things I found washed up on the shore to local folk. On one secluded edge of the island, down a sharp chasm, precious items are often washed ashore. Examples of things I have found down there include a diamond necklace, a sack of soggy potatoes, some broken glass, and something else quite sharp, which I managed to cut myself on. Still, the necklace was a good find. That part of the island is usually guarded by this friendly pirate type chap, strafing intermittently through the undergrowth, but he wasnít there when I was down there earlier. Heís usually sort of okay, when heís too drunk to swear that is.

While in town I decided I would pop in to Sprout Finance to enquire about their investment opportunities. Thirty minutes later and I left with a smile on my face and my cash tied up in something called Colonel Sproutís Super High Yield Premium Blackberry Hedge Fund Limited. I donít really know what this is but I know itís preferable to have this than be on the business end of the Colonelís cutlass.