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Entry 12: Doctor Hatchet Man MD

A new doctor has recently opened up a practice in town in a converted warehouse which used to be a meat packers. By all accounts, the place maintains its air of death and hooked carcass. The doc, who used to run the place as his own business under the name ďThe Hatchet ManĒ, has rather unfortunately become synonymous with his former profession, which perhaps goes some way to explaining why only a handful of locals have been brave enough to have sought out his services.

While working in the meat packing and slaughtering industry, the doc took a part time six session fast track course in medicine in order to gain his fully qualified medical status. I read in the paper that thereís no money in butchery any more which has meant many have had choose between retraining or working in garages assisting people with petrol refilling and hawking Snicker bars at massively inflated prices (the so-called Snickers Drag Effect). Unfortunately he must still be paying back his student debts as he also keeps a portion of his practice open for slaughter-based sundry activities.

Iím not too sure of his credentials to be honest; Bill from across the road went there recently and hasnít been seen since. He had his leg busted up pretty bad the other week when a first edition fell on it and it quickly became gangrenous. Shortly after Billís disappearance I saw Nelly, a local 5-legged cow, hobbling past the house, which surprised me as Nelly is renowned in these parts for having 6 legs in aggregate. Iím not sure, but I think the recent wholesale recall of beef in our local supermarket, in which tainted meat was uncovered with bits of human clothing in it, may be linked inextricably to the apparent demise of Bill and his festering leg.

Itís possible that the doc hacked up and packaged old Bill and amputated Nellyís sixth leg in a mix up I suppose, though I would be first to admit that sounds a little far fetched. Suffice to say, though, the Hatchet Man, M.D. or otherwise, wonít be hearing from me for a while!