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CRUD Corporate Training Seminar

Brought to you by the Corporate Recruitment and Undergraduate Development (CRUD).

You are invited to a management presentation entitled “The Corporate Sphere – Your Step to Enlightenment”. Brought to you by experts in business strategy, our speakers harbour vast industrial experience. At CRUD, our aim is to provide personal development solutions to fit your choices in career, and to help you to be successful in realising your enlightenment needs within the corporate sphere.

Presentation Itinerary

9.00am: Breakfast (Choice of continental breakfast or cheese)
10.00am: Reginald Warren Disciplined Financial Tax Regulation and You
11.00am: Networking
12.00pm: Michelle Dubois-Smith Flogging Kitchen Appliances in Curry’s
1.00pm: Lunch (Choice of Roast Pork, Crisps and Jam Sandwich, or Smarties)
2.00pm: Mahogany Sprott Concealing Unsightly Smells in the Corporate Sphere
3.00pm: Tea Break (Tetley’s or PG Tips)
4.00pm: Dr Seymour Donahue-Smyth MBE The Happy Yet Misunderstood Face of Corporate Fraud
5.00pm: Farewell drinks, canapés and live band (Slipknot)

Speaker Profiles

Mahogany Sprott (Msc BA CPD Naasf NAFF)

Highly respected amongst private banks within the City of London, Mahogany has collected a great deal of experience across the banking disciplines. He is a member of the board of directors for GlobEx Bank Global Limited, former CEO of Blownit Bank, and came second in the egg and spoon race in the 1987 Burnley Egg and Spoon Race. Rumoured to have involuntarily shat himself during his speech to the Congress of Business Technicians in New York in March, Mahogany now employs a full time personal assistant to ensure that the smell can be neutralised immediately should such an action occur again.

Michelle Dubois-Smith

Michelle primarily gained her business experience within the retail sector. Specialising in microtransactive resurfacing stock systems, she has held an appointment at Curry’s since 1982, working as a kitchen appliances consultant, where she regularly advises clients of the pro’s and con’s of Zanussi washing machines compared with those of Hotpoint.

Reginald Warren Esq.

Michael eats his food primarily through a straw. Having dismissed food as a redundant bourgeois concept, Michael sits on the board of directors at the influential private investment bank Gittens & Co of Geneva. Michael has a comprehensive understanding of international tax matters and keeps a wide portfolio of clients that include wealthy individuals and blue chip companies. Gaining a great understanding of corporate restructuring as a director, Michael keeps his excrement in a bag in his room, as he does not believe the Swiss sewage system can be trusted.

Dr Seymour Donahue-Smyth MBE
Headline Speaker

A leading practitioner in corporate law, Dr Donahue-Smyth enjoys an unrivalled relationship with some of the largest and most recognised companies in the world. A series of fraud related setbacks including links to the Enron scandal have not dampened his appetite for protecting vulnerable faceless corporations from the evil clutches of justice. With 24 years of experience in the industry behind him, Dr Donahue-Smyth has the distinguishing feature of looking rather ample around the waist. Experts believe this is due to the nappy that he now sports, as he believes that there is no time for excretion in the fast paced world of corporate protection.

We hope to see you there! To take advantage of the experience of these corporate heavyweights, simply complete the attached order form.

The session is available to young professionals and graduating university students who exhibit the drive to achieve quick progress on the fast track ladder to success.