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Tea: Scientifically proven to be better than sliced bread!

It’s the sensational news we all knew already! Finally, again, scientists have proved that tea is, err, good for you.

Yes, Parkie, times were hard back then. But we mustn't grumble!

Above: Monkeys have been drinking tea to relieve stress since the eighties.

In the second recent study made by these science types, (obviously their research ideals are influenced in no small part by a nice cuppa) it has been proven that a chemical response occurs in the body that makes a brew relieve stress. It is argued that the drinking of tea is not only psychologically good in relieving stress, it is also scientific. Though the study, as detailed in the Daily Telegraph, fails to identify the exact chemical reason why this is, they have managed to at least ascertain that it is good for relieving stress.

As is coming up with at least some sort of a conclusion after an expensive scientific study, one might imagine.

What anyone knows who enjoys a good cup of tea, be it slumped over in a comfy chair with the box on, or during a temporary respite from dull working ignominy, or wherever, is that a tea break really can be the very definition of relaxation. This we already know. But why? Why indeed!

The human subjects in the experiment were subjected to a six week course of real tea, while the other half were mercilessly fed fake tea, a so called placebo brew up, which was apparently tea flavoured, but not actually tea (huh?). Half of the participants were unaware of the fact they were not getting their regular dosage of tea, which scientists found resulted in higher stress levels. Also, the folks in the study were subjected, apparently, to “stressful situations,” such as "[the threat of] unemployment, being accused of shop lifting or being involved in an untoward incident at a nursing home".

Stop drinking tea and help me with this piano, willyaNo, we're not sure what sort of "untoward incident" in a nursing home would cause stress either.

Arguably, this meddling with people’s minds is perhaps slightly unethical, especially as PG Tips commissioned similar research in the 1980’s using humanised monkeys as subjects. The trained monkeys, who wore people clothes and drank tea out of expensive looking china teacups, are famous as being the public face of the company during this time period. Anyone who remembers these hilariously jovial glimpses at the human-like monkeys living a normal domesticated life will doubtlessly relate to the happy-go-lucky nature of the primates exchanging pleasantries with each other (though whether they knew what they’d obviously been trained to say, or whether the were merely replicating sounds is another matter entirely). In short, these monkeys were clearly in a relaxed state, presumably due to the effects of drinking PG Tips.

Animal experimentation conducted in the eighties proved what the scientists conclude in 2006.

That’s that well and truly sorted then. Until the next “groundbreaking” tea health study

I wonder if they got to keep the clothes?